My mother once told me "you should always have three men on rotation... One with money, to take you out and treat you. One with sex appeal, to show you a 'good time' and one that you really want, who you keep at arm's length." The Eastern European adage she often quotes attempts to attach value to "playing hard to get," yet I willingly misinterpret her words to mean "no one guy is good enough, so date three."
Yet, my mother failed to mention the difficulty and complications that arise from this juggling act.
I started seeing Ironic Tattoo guy after having several drunkenly disastrous yet elusively enticing nights with him. He is fun, carefree, covered in meaningless ink that makes everyone chuckle and was growing a beard for a 4-person-wide competition.
I know. Winner.
Then I was having long, late night phone calls discussing the metaphysical connections within our world with the wealthy SoHo Guy.
I know. Long Distance.
Almost as protest to my conscience urging me to cut both un-datable men loose, I met yet another non-option whom I shall refer to as Crazy Psycho Guy.
Long story, short:
He facebook-messaged me that he remembered me from a party four months ago.
He called me that very night and talked my ear off about life for 2 hours.
He met me and my friends at a bar during a friend's birthday party where we all got drunk.
He showed up at another party a few days later where Ironic Tattoo Guy also showed up.
I made out with Ironic Tattoo guy and left the party with him.
I got a 13 paragraph facebook message from Crazy Psycho Guy attacking me for my drunken behavior, my poor judgment and general lack of direction in life.... and that continuing our relationship would put me on the right track again, but only if I get rid of those awful friends of mine.
Needless to say, I ripped his balls off in a my response to his email, outlining that I'm well aware of my disastrous behavior, mythically mad lifestyle and oddball friends and that I like it that way.
Crazy Psycho Guy is gone, Ironic Tattoo Guy is consistently mediocre, and I'm in NYC now for work, staying with SoHo Guy. He is pretty magnificent.
I think?
Hmmm "Think." I should try to do that more often... this whole impulsive dating thing is getting messy.
