No Bed Moped

Yeah, so this happened.

I was at an uber fabulous party for Fashion Week; you know, uncomfortably refined... enticing in the worst ways...

I was elegantly wasted due to the endless flow of complimentary vodka and champagne, and doubly exhausted from the flight I had just taken 2 hours prior to get to New York. Needless to say, I had to get home, quick. Before that last shot put me over the edge.

My friend I had accompanied was still busy feasting on the fame-filled buffet, and was not leaving anytime soon, and so I stepped just outside to consider my options of escape. Phone dead... shit.

Before I could drunkenly stupor towards yet another bad-idea shot at the bar, a gorgeous man grabbed my attention. "Hello." Well hello! He flirted me up, said all the right things in that perfect raspy, deep, sexy voice. He invited me to another party. I declined, as my debaucherous nature was sure to peak at any moment and I knew I should head back to my place. He insisted, smiled flirtasiously, gazed into my eyes, pulled my hair behind my ear and asked again.

Before I knew it I was on the back of his moped flying through the city, headed anywhere but where I should have been going. Dodging crowds, cabs and stoplights... hair blowing in the wind, heels barely set on the foot-rests. It was all quite perfect. The next party was, needless to say, a blast. And again I insisted I must go. But alas, a gaze a grab and a kiss later, we were on his bike again. This time for a late night dinner.

After he paid the bill, I again insist, "Ok, it's 5am, I must go back. I have no idea where I am. It was a great time, but I'm exhausted" and like clockwork, he held my hand, smiled that dangerous smile and points across the street and shows me his loft. How convenient.

We stumble up seven flights of stairs, giggling the whole way. We get to his door and before he turns the key he looks to me and says the last possible thing I could have ever predicted.

HIM: "So, I just thought I should let you know... we can't bone or anything. I'm sort of seeing someone."
ME: ...
HIM: "Is that cool?"
ME: "First of all, don't use the word 'bone.' Second of all, what... why... um...."
HIM: "I just really like her and..."
ME: "But you brought me here. I wanted to go home all night. You talked me into this whole night every step of the way... I didn't even expect..but somehow... how am I getting dumped right now?"
HIM: "Sorry... it's just getting serious and..."
ME: "You know what, open the fucking door. I need to go to bed."

We went to sleep. He gave me a ride back in the morning.

Did he think that made him faithful? Or made me desperate? What? huh?

That happened.